Angst, fear and realization
by apersonwithasaw
Summary: It's 20 years in the future and things in the Griffin family have drastically changed. Stewie is miserable and fed up with his life. Especially with the love of his life not having mutual feelings for him. At least he's convinced that's true. It tears him apart. Will they be able to find happiness together? WARNING: Lots of swearing and gay sexual content, and some death.
1. Problems

This is my first fanfiction ever. So theire is sex, swearing and death in this, but please, keep reading. It's not a slaughterfest or anything but it gets very dramatic. Special thanks to TourmalineTrue. She is one of my favorite authours on here and she helped me with a couple of things in this and reviewed it before I put it up. Please review and whatnot. This is my first one and I would like to get some more opinions.

Ch. 1

As he smoked his cigarette, he watched the cars go by.

You can learn a lot about human behavior by sitting out on your front deck, a 20-year-old Stewie Griffin thought to himself. He was watching all of the people driving and walking by the slightly old yet up-kept yellow house, lost in his own thought, taking long drags of his smoke. Finally, after a nother minute or so, he nonchalantly flicked the smoldering butt that was left of it over the railing and went inside.

He opened the door to see another ordinary sight in his house.

"Fuck you! You fat alcoholic prick!" He heard Meg scream. It resonated from the kitchen.

"Why did we even have to have a stupid fucking daughter?" Peter asked rhetorically to Lois.

"Of course, just fucking ignore me!" Meg screamed. "You are the worst parents even fucking imaginable!"

Stewie tried to go upstairs but with all of the drama he couldn't help but burst into the kitchen.

"I've put up with this bullshit for years. I'm done," said Meg, trying to choke back tears.

She turned around, only to see Stewie red with anger.

"This fucking family is a broken fucking mess and I can't take this fucking shit!" he screamed.

"Like you're helping, you queer, wannabe emo motherfucker!" Peter said, mockingly.

Stewie grimaced and the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

Just then, Brian came upstairs from his room in the basement.

"What the fuck is going on?" he asked angrily.

All of the sudden fed up with the drama, Stewie tuned everything out and went up to his room. Once he was inside he slammed the door. It pissed Stewie off that his two idiot siblings had not moved out. It wasn't surprising though. Chris worked at the brewery with his father. Needless to say it was a very low paying job. Besides, he didn't have the mental capability to live on his own. Meg however, had tried to start a makeup store. That, of course, had failed miserably.

She was still clinging to the people that made her life miserable. Stewie thought to himself with a sigh.

Shortly after Stewie had entered his room, he walked up to the mirror on his wall and looked in it. Queer wannabe emo motherfucker. he thought to himself. He was openly gay, having first confessed to Brian who, of course, was very supportive. He didn't look very emo, but he was convinced that he had depression. That was the cause of the scars all over his forearms from cutting himself with the same worn-out knife for the past few years. His hair was a beautiful shade of auburn with bangs parted mostly to the left. Having been a genius ever since he was a baby, he mentally kicked himself for never finding a way to cope with his depression. He knew what caused it, however. His abusive broken home and most of all, knowing that the love of his life, Brian, the family's anthropomorphic dog, would never accept him as a lover. Stewie, however, knew that they were perfect for each other in every way.

Having been friends since Stewie was born, they did everything together. Stewie even often dropped subtle hints about his feelings for Brian, only for them to be taken as lighthearted jokes. This destroyed Stewie on the inside. But he knew Brian loved him, at least platonically. Especially during the bank vault incident when they had accidentally gotten locked inside a safety deposit box room. Stewie had confessed his love to Brian after Brian had admitted to having suicidal thoughts and owning a gun in case he wanted to kill himself, but he'd pussied out and said it was platonic. Brian of course admitted that he felt the same way. Stewie never understood why Brian never showed romantic feelings for him. They were closer to each other than anyone else in their lives. Stewie had even saved Brian's life. Years ago, Stewie had developed a serum to make Brian age at the same rate as humans. Brian thanked and hugged Stewie for at least 20 minutes after giving it to him. It had felt amazing for Stewie to have Brian this close, but saddening to know it wouldn't go any further.

Stewie had felt that it was best to push the thoughts out of his head for the time being. He decided to sift through his record collection a special one, The Beatle's A Hard Day's Night. Brian had gotten him into the hobby to help distract him from his world crumbling around him. He couldn't give less of a fuck about records, but it came from Brian. Dammit stop thinking about that fucking dog! He thought to himself. Sighing, he put the needle gently on the song he related to the most (If I Fell), picked up his guitar and quickly sat on his bed. In perfect timing, he began strumming the familiar chords and sang along in an amazing, beautifully rich voice. He was known for his musical abilities. Suddenly, a familiar deep voice from behind his door joined in.

Stewie knew who it was, and teared up a little. He quickly set down the guitar and took the needle off of the record with a faint scratching sound.

"Come in, dog," he said as he sat down on his bed.

Brian quickly came into the room to comfort his friend.

"Hey, kid, I'm sorry all of this shit is happening with the family. How are you holding up?" said Brian sympathetically.

Stewie melted whenever Brian called him 'kid'. It was his nickname. Brian was the only one who ever said that to him. Even though Stewie was 20, he loved it. Besides, Brian knew that it comforted him.

"I don't fucking know anymore. I just... FUCK!" Stewie screamed. He was completely worn out.

Brian sympathetically put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, kid, I'll always be here for you," said Brian with complete honesty.

Stewie teared up a little.

"Hey, you want to come out for a smoke, Brian?" said Stewie, clearly in need of some sort of release from all of the pressure.

"Sure thing, kid. Let's go" said Brian before getting up off of the bed.

After eventually making their way onto the back deck, they both pulled cigarettes out of their packs and lit them. After a few drags each, Stewie was the first to start a conversation.

"So, life really... really fucking sucks." Stewie said calmly

Brian didn't reply.

"Say something, dog!" Stewie raised his voice

"Look Stewie, I don't know what to say. It does suck. But things can always get better," said Brian, flicking the ash off of his cigarette.

It could only get better if I had you, Stewie thought to himself.

"I've been hoping for things to get better for the past 20 fucking years!" yelled Stewie after shaking the thought from his head and taking another long drag of his cigarette.

Brian had a worried look on his face but didn't speak. He just took a few puffs of his smoke.

"I'm sorry," said Stewie quietly.

"It's ok kid. You're going through a lot right now," said Brian

Stewie hugged Brian very tightly, and Brian hugged back. Stewie sighed in angst. Of course, Brian thought it was only from the family situation.


	2. Outing

Ch. 2

Stewie groggily woke up to the sound of his overly loud alarm. In a zombie-like state, he turned over and hit the alarm clock until it stopped beeping. He sat up slowly and stretched. After getting dressed he made his way downstairs, only to see Brian sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and fiddling with his laptop.

"Mornin'." Stewie said lazily.

Brian only grunted as he agitatedly hit some keys on his computer. He was clearly exhausted. Stewie poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from Brian.

"What's up, dog?" Stewie asked curiously.

"This computer is a piece of shit," he said defeatedley.

Ok. Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do something today. You know, get away from the house?"

Brian nodded in agreement.

"Sure. I'm bored as hell anyway," he said with a yawn.

They both got up at about the same time and walked over to Brian's car. Stewie lit a smoke as Brian locked the door. After they got inside of Brian's car, Brian started to pull out of the driveway but stopped in silence. Stewie turned to Brian to ask what was up when he saw a half-smoked joint sticking out of the open ashtray.

"Dude, chill, it's just pot," Stewie said with a smirk.

Brian sheepishly grinned as he said,

"I didn't know if you were uptight about that sort of thing like Lois," said Brian, slightly relived.

"Fuck Lois," Stewie said with a grin.

"Do you smoke grass?" asked Brian with a puzzled look on his face.

"No, I've never really found someone to trust enough to do it with."

Brian paused.

"I'll do it with you," he said plainly.

"Maybe someday, but I'm not exactly in the mood right now," Stewie said innocently.

"Ok, that's cool." Brian said just as innocently as he continued to pull out of the driveway.

During the day they went to a coffee shop, the park to walk around, got lunch and eventually decided to hit the bar. Once they got a booth they ordered their drinks.

"I've always liked the Drunken Clam," said Stewie, smiling.

"Me too," said Brian as he took a sip of his martini.

A couple more hours went by and a lot of alcohol was consumed.

"Brian, d-do you know what it's like to ha-have something you need in your life there. But b-barely out of reach? And the p-pain n'… shit that goes with it?" Stewie said drunkenly.

Brian, who was just as drunk, replied,

"Yeah, k-kid, K-kind of."

The bar seemed silent for a few long moments and suddenly, Stewie broke into tears.

"W-what's wrong?" asked Brian, who was clearly very confused

"L-Lets just go home," said Stewie.

"Ok," said Brian obligingly.

They left their table and stumbled to the car. After a long, silent, and dangerous drive home, they stumbled their way to the front door, only to see Meg on the front deck having a smoke.

Y-You smoke, M-Meg?" asked Stewie, obviously shocked.

"Yeah, so?" she asked defensively obviously sad.

Stewie and Brian ignored her and walked inside silently and sat on the couch in the dark. Brian hugged Stewie and drunkenly said,

"Y-you're my best friend, kid"

"You too B-Brian," replied Stewie sadly.

They drifted to sleep on the couch.


	3. Substance

Ch. 3

Stewie awoke with a terrible hangover. He lazily looked over to see Brian awake and watching TV.

You're up. I thought you'd be able to sleep through one of peter's stupid stunts." said Brian as he laughed.

Stewie didn't pay any attention to the comment; he just stared at the TV. Suddenly, Lois and Peter burst through the door, screaming at Meg.

"That'll teach you to stay out all night you dumb bitch!" yelled Lois.

Everyone treated Meg like shit. But over the past few years Peter and Lois got drastically worse. And no one seemed to know why. It was very scary and unpredictable. They were most likely taking their failing marriage out on her.

"Why do you have to do this to me?" Meg screamed between tears.

Stewie sighed and walked up to his room. He went inside and sat on his bed after he closed the door. He sighed again and stared through silent tears at the knife that was sitting on his bedside table. It was a switchblade. He flicked it open and slowly put the knife to his arm. He drew it across the smooth surface and winced in pain. A small drop of blood collected on the knife. He then pulled the knife away and stared at the wound until it stopped bleeding. After putting the knife back, he decided to lie down on his bed. He fell back asleep, only to be awoken by a soft, deep voice.

"Hey, kid, wake up. I have a surprise."

Stewie opened his eyes slowly. It was, of course, Brian.

"W-what?" Stewie said groggily.

"I figured we could have some fun," said Brian mischievously.

Stewie sat up fast at those words.

"What kind of fun?" asked Stewie playfully.

Brian held up a joint about the size of a cigarette and just grinned at Stewie.

Stewie was a little disappointed that it wasn't some sort of sexual thing, but he let it slide.

"Fuck it," said Stewie as he got up and yawned.

"We can do it in the garage. It's like, one in the morning."

"Ok," said Stewie as he quietly followed Brian out of his room, down the stairs, and into the garage.

They sat against one of the walls and Brian lit the joint.

"That smells awesome," said Stewie excitedly.

Brian took a few more drags and passed it to Stewie. He took it eagerly.

"Now remember Stewie, when you inhale, hold it in longer than you would a cigarette."

Stewie obliged and took a few long puffs. After a few more hits each, Stewie burst into laughter. Brian looked at him, trying his hardest not to do the same.

"Dude," said Stewie between giggles. "I'm so baked.

"Me too, man," said Brian giving in to the laughter.

They sat there giggling and smoking for a few minutes until Stewie spoke.

"Man, this is so fun dude. We have to do this again sometime."

"Yeah," said Brian with a warm smile. He got up than put out what was left of the joint and threw it out the window. He then sat down again by Stewie. They sat in silence until Stewie spoke.

"Hey, Brian, uh… I- I love you."

Without thinking, Brian put a hand on Stewie's shoulder and said,

"I love you too, man."

Stewie teared up a little and said,

"No, Brian. Ever since I met you, I've been IN love with you. You're my… my everything," said Stewie between tears.

Brian tried to speak, but was cut off by Stewie.

"And I've bottled up these feelings for years, Brian. I would die without you."

Brian stared at Stewie passionately, lust in his dark eyes. In a split second he crushed his lips against Stewie's passionately. And Stewie kissed back. Stewie felt like he never had before. It was amazing. After a few seconds Brian quickly pulled away.

"I'm sorry Stewie," he said hurriedly before rushing out of the garage

He then ran to his room, Leaving Stewie in shock and silent tears.


	4. Release

Ch. 4

Stewie woke up in his bed. He felt too sad and dejected to bother doing more than throwing a shirt and pants on. He went to the kitchen, only to see everyone in the family except for Meg sitting at the table sadly.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Stewie impatiently.

Everyone was silent.

"Well?" he asked, a little scared.

"Meg's dead," said Chris plainly.

Stewie's eyes went wide.

"She-she hung herself," added Lois through tears.

Stewie spotted a note on the table and quickly picked it up. It read:

Family.

My whole life, I've been ostracized by all of you. Nobody ever cared about me and won't care about me dying. So I don't feel guilty. I can't take this anymore. Peter and Lois, you guys tortured me emotionally. Fuck you both. Chris, with the way YOU treated me, I don't have anything to say to you. At all. Brian, you were better than Lois and Peter sometimes. But leading me on with "romance" at the prom and other stupid shit. Fuck yourself. And Stewie, you followed them in treating me like shit. Even though I tried my hardest to be a good big sister. Have a good life without me everybody.

-Ugly slut, whore, tramp and all of the other stupid shit you have all called me.

Stewie stood in silence for a while until he set the note down and walked back upstairs quietly.

Within 5 minutes, Stewie decided to leave before the police showed up. He wouldn't be able to handle that kind of thing right now. He went outside, only to see Brian walking towards his car.

"Hey," said Stewie awkwardly.

"Oh, hey," said Brian, just as awkward.

"Where are you going?" asked Stewie.

"The bank, what about you?" replied Brian, still tense.

"I'm going to the mall. I can't be around here right now," said Stewie sadly.

"Want a lift?" asked Brian with a sigh.

"Sure."

They drove in silence. Once they drove past the bank they had gotten trapped in before. Stewie choked back a tear. Brian eventually stopped at the mall and they sat in silence.

"Look, about last night-" Brian started.

"Forget about it. It was my fault," said Stewie as he got out.

Before Brian pulled away, he said loudly out the window:

"Remember, Stewie. I do, and always will, care about you."

He then drove away.

Stewie walked up to the door and suddenly, he froze dead in his tracks.

"The bank" He thought to himself

He remembered the bank vault incident and Brian's suicidal thoughts. And now, all he could think was:

Shit! The gun!

Stewie ran absolutely as fast as he could to the bank. It only took five minutes. When he got there, he saw Brian's car parked outside. He dashed into the bank and went right to the safety deposit room. In this stupid little town, there weren't many safety precautions, just tellers and a guard that didn't notice Stewie. He looked in the room, only to see Brian's box gone. Without thinking, he ran into the bathroom where he found Brian sitting in the handicap stall with the door half open. Stewie burst in, and stood in silence.

As Brian put the cold barrel of the gun in his mouth, it tingled with relief and pain. He was seconds away from freedom. It would all finally be over. As he cocked the hammer back, it made a distinct clicking noise.

"Brian! Don't!" shouted Stewie.

Brian quickly took the gun out of his mouth.

"Stewie, what the hell are you doing here?" asked Brian sternly, trying to keep his composure.

"I figured something was wrong when you dropped me off," said Stewie. "You… you said you were going to the bank, and I remembered last time we were here."

"I didn't have the heart to tell you," said Brian, with a tear in his eye.

"I know you're depressed about Meg's suicide but..." said Stewie.

Brian cut him off.

"We all treated her like shit, Stewie!" Brian said defeatedley. "We drove her to the breaking point."

Stewie stood in silence.

"And look at me. I'm a pretentious, alcoholic prick."

The room was quiet, unbearably quiet. The air was still and listless, as if time had frozen. Stewie tried to speak but he couldn't find the words to say.

"I can't take this anymore, Stewie." said Brian. "I'm done."

"Brian, before you do this," said Stewie. "I love you."

They both gazed into each other's eyes for a moment.

"I always have," said Stewie, crying. "All of the time we have spent together, has always been special to me. And I know I've told you this, Brian. But you NEED to know that I truly mean it, no matter what."

"Look, Stewie. I didn't want to admit it because I was scared. But I love you too, Stewie. More than anyone else I've ever known. I'm so sorry." as he started to cry.

"It's alright, Brian," said Stewie with a tear in his eye.

They hugged, tightly.

"Brian," said Stewie seriously.

"Yeah?" asked Brian curiously.

"I can't live with all of this. Let alone without you," Stewie said, trembling. "I want you to shoot me as well."

Brian looked at Stewie silently. After a while he said:

"Stewie, I couldn't do that. You have your whole life ahead of you."

"Listen, Brian. I don't want you to kill yourself, but I know you're stubborn as a motherfucker. So if you kill yourself, I'm GOING to kill myself, regardless of what you say. I would rather my last moments be with you."

Brian started crying and silently mouthed ok.

"But please, kiss me once more," said Stewie. "For real this time"

Their lips met passionately and Stewie was in a state of euphoria. He was ready to die. Brian then grabbed Stewie's hand in his free hand. It was warm. Their lips slowly parted and he leaned towards Stewie's ear and whispered:

"I love you."

Brian then gently put the barrel of the gun to the side of Stewie's head in a way that the bullet would kill them both. The held each other extremely tight. After about a second or two, Brian pulled the trigger.


	5. Love

Ch. 5

There was a loud clicking noise and Stewie grinned. No bullet, no heat, just the click of an unloaded gun.

"What?" asked Brian, extremely confused.

"I knew it would come to this Brian," said Stewie happily. "With you being depressed and suicidal and whatnot, I knew that one day you might give in."

Brian stared at Stewie dumbfounded.

"And so when you fell asleep in the bank vault I stole the few bullets that were left in the gun because I would never want to lose you. "

Brian had tears in his eyes but finally mustered up the composure to speak.

"But what about all of that, seconds ago?" asked Brian, still very confused.

"I wanted you to know that my feelings for you were real. And besides, if you had noticed that the gun was empty and bought new bullets, we would be dead right now. I honestly WOULD rather my last moments be with you."

Brian was still crying and so was Stewie. All he could do was hug Stewie extremely tight, almost protectively. Stewie of course hugged back just as tight.

"But Meg…" Brian said crying. Almost like a child.

"She had problems of her own, Brian. Remember when she tried to rape you? It's not your fault," said Stewie calmly.

They both got up silently and went to Brain's car. They were very quiet and Brian had the gun in his lap. Stewie waited until they were on one of the back roads and quickly grabbed the gun. He then threw it out the window.

"Thank you," said Brian, a little relieved.

"Brian, I love you. There is nothing else in this world that means as much to me as you and there never will be," said Stewie passionately.

Brian immediately pulled over and stared at Stewie lustily. Stewie looked at him confusedly but didn't say anything. In a matter of seconds, they started making out passionately. Touching and exploring each other's bodies. They both climbed into the back seat and Brian got on top of Stewie giving him just enough room to slip off his pants. Once that was done had Stewie looked the happiest (and sexiest) Brian had ever seen him. Immediately after, their lips crashed together again and Brian almost forcefully shoved his tongue into Stewie's mouth. This turned Stewie on and he started to get an erection. The same thing was happening to Brian, and eventually their members touched each other, causing them both to moan deeply. Suddenly Brian pulled away and began to speak.

"I'm not used to this. I've slept with women but I've never done anything with a guy. I love you, Stewie, and I'll do anything you want. I'll fuck you right here, right now." His voice was deep, sexy and passionate. "But I'm a little confused"

Stewie stared at him with a sexy smile on his face.

"Look Brian," said Stewie, trying his best not to ruin the moment. "Do whatever you're comfortable with."

They then kissed very deeply and Stewie gently but firmly gripped on to Brian's penis, causing him to moan. With his free hand, Stewie grabbed Brian's collar and yanked him close to his face.

"Show me you're fucking animal side," said Stewie, his voice low and husky. "Give me all you've got and show me what very few people have seen. Take control and fuck me with all you have."

Then something snapped in Brian. His eyes got darker and he kissed Stewie ferociously and passionately. This turned Stewie on so much that he let out an extremely loud moan. Brian let out a low deep growl mixed with a moan and propped Stewie's legs up. When he was positioned right, he touched the head of his penis (which was wet with pre-cum) to Stewie's asshole. Stewie almost screamed in pleasure which made Brian smirk. He shoved about half of his cock in and Stewie winced in pain

"Are you alright?" asked Brian, his voice very husky.

"I'm f-fine," said Stewie, a little short of breath.

With that, Brian started thrusting his member in and out of Stewie's ass, only going about halfway. He wanted to please Stewie. Not hurt him. Stewie kept moaning with pleasure and he eventually managed to speak.

"Brian, fuck me as hard as you can," Stewie said in a husky voice.

With that, Brian instantly sped up and put his whole member inside of Stewie, hitting his prostate. Stewie screamed with pleasure and Brian almost came, but managed to hold it back. He thrust in and out as far as he could while stroking Stewie's erect penis up and down. This sent Stewie over the edge and he came all over Brian, causing Brian to come as well. They were both in pure bliss as Brian collapsed on top of Stewie. They both laid there for a short while holding each other.

"So...uh...we're going to be a couple after this...right?" asked Stewie nervously, hoping that the sex wouldn't ruin anything between them.

"I would hope so," Brian said happily. "I wouldn't want anyone but you."

With that, Stewie smiled and kissed Brian on the cheek.


	6. Future

Ch. 6

"We should probably get going. See how everyone is, you know," Stewie said with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yeah, but we need to clean ourselves up." said Brian, leaning into the front and grabbing a handful of napkins.

Once they wiped up the mess, they decided to start driving home. After a little bit of silence, Stewie decided to bring the inevitable up.

"So we probably shouldn't tell them," he said with worry in his voice.

"Yeah, they would never understand," said Brian agitatedly.

As they pulled up to the house, there was just one police officer left talking to the family. When they walked up to the front deck, Brian silently offered Stewie a smoke and he happily obliged. They lit their cigarettes and stayed on the deck with the family while they finished explaining everything. After about five minutes the cop left and everybody went inside.

"So what did the cops think of the note?" Stewie asked, casually.

"Uh...we didn't tell them," Peter said, sounding guilty.

Stewie froze a little.

"Why not?" Stewie asked. He had a hint of anger in his voice.

"Well, that would make us look bad," Peter admitted

"Figures," said Stewie under his breath.

Stewie went to his bedroom and sat on his bed.

This family is so fucking fake, he thought to himself.

Stewie hated his family. He hated how little they cared for each other (except for him and Brian, of course.) If it wasn't for Brian he would be all alone. Suddenly he heard a knock on his door.

"Come in" Stewie said defeatedley.

Brian walked in the room and shut the door behind him.

"Lois and Peter are going at it and I'd rather be with you than listen to them bitch," said Brian as he sat down on Stewie's bed. Brian leaned over and kissed Stewie. It instantly made Stewie feel better.

"Why don't we just leave?" Stewie asked almost whimsically.

"What do you mean?" asked Brian.

"Why don't we just start a new life together?" asked Stewie. Hoping beyond hope that Brian would want to.

After a pause Brian spoke.

"That'd be nice," said Brian as he put his head on Stewie's lap.

Stewie let out a small sigh of relief and began to pat Brian's head.

The End


End file.
